i get scared/when im happy/ill be sad the ups are fast and too high for me to not worry about the fall. i remember sending riddles in txt messages to mel trying to make her understand that i couldn't place my emotions. that i couldnt keep up with what was happening in my head and it was wonderful at times but there was a strange emptiness surrounding the euphoria, where like me it wasn't quite right. and joking with andrew that i was manic and telling him EVERYTHING. that i was so fast at the end i always fell behind. not that it was to do with them, i just wanted someone to understand. more i wanted to know, did everyone get that? and you know how sometimes when i get nervous I becomes WE in my head...does everyone do that? am i doing this right? am i doing this real?

if what you're feeling turns out to be all in your head...does it make it any less real?