my mother doesnt see how far i have come. every day is NOT. a struggle, not lately (not til yesterday/today/this moment bleeds through me acid rising) i need to explain to my mother-
my job gives me the flexibility to focus on my career
my job is not as emotionally draining as sitting in front of a desk
i create a fantasy i DONT sell sex
i have never been happier in a job
i DO Have the power
if i didnt want to do it, i wouldnt- easy as that
i am very supported by my friends at work
we are NOT drug addicts, weak, victims, sluts
i AM a feminist.post or otherwise.

how can i say any of that to her...she wont understand...she only hears stories of sex work she researches in south east asia trafficking my life story as her own so its easier for her to digest "how can you do this to me"

matthew left me...i am not good enough for anyone...

soon i wish i was air borne flying falling free .wish i was a pile of dirty clothes strewn on the pavement from a great height leaking juices from behind my spine and my ears bloodying the street and any idea of me they might have had (wrong).

matthew said i am too concerned with how other people see me, maybe if people would stop seeing me as a work in progress i wouldnt be so caught up in it...