I admit defeat. I cower at your admission- your heads in a different place - which means YOU DON'T LOVE ME. I could love you forever I think, because I always thought we would be together, when it was right for us. and WE'RE NOT RIGHT. or I'm not. you're in a different place which means THERE'S NO PLACE FOR ME, you wouldn't even fight for me, try for me. I admit defeat and I hate you a million times over because how can I be the best friend I am meant to be to you when my hearts all over the fucking ground in clots of OUR LOST CHILD (and fuck you for never caring that WE had a miscarriage not just me) MY LOST SEXUALITY (i feel like i'm starting over i dont know if im gay or if it was just you and i dont want to deal with that and if i am gay/or not/than everything will now be seen as just a phase) and maybe just fucking maybe OUR LOST FRIENDSHIP.

i love you anyway.