this is the house that we built
falling down
at all angles

i made promises
to many
but i always kept
one eye open
(not with you. with you i trusted the both of us, open doors, too open for your heart)
for fear i should have had
one of us to betray
one of us to fall
the walls collapsing
around us
-------me

you rebuild with
someone else
in your bed
(the bed we made our own
those sheets belong to
us)
you rebuild
you rebuild
you rebuild
you rebuild

the walls collapsing
around me.

Once apon a time there was a girl who loved Love. And Love loved her. It waited for her in dark alleyways to spring itself around her throat, 'I can't eat I can't sleep I can't breathe' this either love or some kind of mental illness. It took her briefly- in two days we will know if white picket fence dreams are reality will you marry me will you impregnate me what will we call our children when we live in provincial france writing poetry on napkins will you want what i want for as long as i want but longer still? Sometimes it lingered for longer than expected and held her too hard and strong for her to bear. Sometimes (most times) it came at the worst possible time, breaking ties already formed hurting anyone that had crawled in to her web
[my friend says some spiders make webs out of sperm, this is what i produce perhaps]
nestled in comfortable, a little too tight for their own good [this is when i eat them, my loves, too big for me to stomach] Usually Love found a way of making it all feel all right, all justified. One giant quest for a little princess where i am my own sword, my own kingdom, so all decisions in the quest for Love are right.
Once apon a time there was a girl who destroyed Love. And Love destroyed her.
So she buried the quest neatly as a dead violet pressed with love sonnets in pages of a notebook. One day it is nice to think she would come back -love blooming- with out thoughts of CherryBlossoms and she would embrace all Loves, big, small, awful and wonderful simply because she could and for Love which we all know works in the strangest of ways.
Right now i wait for Love to end when the relationship is Very Over.